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Updated
Posted under NewsI updated all my plugins and also wordpress to all the latest versions. Everything seems exactly the same. Probably a good thing.
I updated all my plugins and also wordpress to all the latest versions. Everything seems exactly the same. Probably a good thing.
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I obviously wasn’t lying when I said I wouldn’t be able to update this thing daily. So. A blog is supposed to be my place on the web to vent and talk about whatever I want, right? Sometimes blogging seems like a chore. But sometimes it can be helpful to get things off of one’s mind.
I will be graduating college in may of 2009. (That is if I pass all my classes between now and then, so everyone keep your fingers crossed!) To be honest, I am scared shitless about what is coming this May. I’m 23 years old. Its long past time for me to leave the nest and get some real world experience.
But then again, it could be said that I already have a little bit. I lived in the dorms at college for a year. I also lived for almost a year with my ex-fiance (the mother of my son) in a nice cosy little house. Unfortunately, things that happened in the house weren’t so cosy and our relationship went south.
We’ve tried on and off after that for years. Even recently. It just seems to continue to be proven to me that me and her just can’t work out, as much as I might want it to.
Then, there’s other people I’ve came cross. First, there’s the girl I met online that has turned into a pretty good friend. She has her quirks though. And we are different enough and the distance is enough that I would never date her.
Then, there’s a girl from work that I’ve became friends with over the past few months. She’s a really sweet girl. The thing with her is that she is a very country girl. I don’t think calling her a redneck would be an insult to her. That’s not necessarily a bad thing I don’t guess, but she’s looking for a “down home country boy” and that’s just not what I am. I’m ready to get up and get out of here, so dating her is probably out.
That brings me back to my original point. Being scared shitless. All the friends and family I have (with the exception of a few friends from high school who have moved off) are in northeast arkansas. But I just don’t feel like staying here is in the cards for me. I know that in order to get a really good job in my field, I’m going to have to move. The closest places would be little rock or memphis, but to move way up I’ll need to go further away.
I hate being alone. Lonliness is the worst feeling in the world. Before I knew what having a significant other was like, I could sit alone in my room for hours at a time with no contact from anyone. Just playing games or on the computer or whatever. But ever since I’ve known what its like to be liked. To be wanted, to be needed…to love and be loved.. I’ve longed for that again.
That longing has led me to do things. Probably the wrong things…lately. So I don’t know what’s going to come of that.
I just know that I’m staring the rest of my life right in the face and it is scaring the shit out of me.
So yeah. This post was long. And it jumped from topic to topic to topic. Welcome to a few minutes of the way my brain works.
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